Love Finds a Way

Do you have any Valentine's Day traditions?  I have a few that I thought I'd share.  Some years I await the holiday with much anticipation and some years all I can think about is the people for whom this day is a source of depression and disappointment and I just want to reach out.  

I know Valentine's Day creates negative feelings for many people and has kind of earned a bad rap.  If you watch any of the myriad of sitcoms or romcoms out there, they would have you believe that the reason for all this negativity is because for all the people out there who aren't in romantic relationships, this holiday is a painful reminder of their solitude and failure.  That's what they say, but I don't believe that's the whole story.

The real trouble is that they feel powerless.  I say "powerless" because while it is to some extent within your control to be in relationship, or just to try to find a date for Valentine's Day, you cannot control whether or not someone else loves you or how they show that affection.  You are only in control of your own actions and emotions.  So, take control of them.

As someone who has spent an equal number of Valentine's Days alone as I have partnered, I can tell you that some of the saddest and loneliest I've ever known happened when I was part of a couple.  By contrast, some of my happiest Valentine's Days came when I expected nothing and instead spent the time to make cards and bake treats for friends, family, and all the people in my life that mattered most.  My joy came from the love I gave to others instead of what I received or hoped to receive.

And since I love making happy memories and hate being disappointed, I decided to change the way I view Valentine's Day and take control of the things that I have control over.  This one decision has made all the difference.  Valentine's Day is for me, an opportunity to make people feel special and loved instead of waiting to be made to feel special by someone else.  Don't get me wrong, it's so wonderful when it happens, but if it doesn't it's not the end.

So, if you have amazing plans with someone who showers you with all the affection you crave and deserve, then I hope this is one of many memorable Valentine's Days you share together.  And, if you are without a romantic partner or simply have a partner who is not the romantic type, don't sit around feeling gloomy, make this day special for the people you care about.  When it comes to love, it really is about how much you give rather than how much you get.

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