Cinema with Style: No One Will Save You

There are so many streaming services out there and it seems like they are all offering their own movies only available on their platforms that unless you have a subscription to everything it's impossible to stay all caught up with the latest silver screen gems.  It was actually Mr. Bleu who brought this movie to my attention and quite frankly the majority of movies released in the past 10 years or so have been so predictable and unimaginative that I rarely get my hopes up for anything being good.  Most things are just something to watch, but as we were in the mood for "something to watch" and nothing else sprang to mind we decided to give No One Will Save You a try.  So, I went into this experience with very low expectations and was delighted to find myself enjoying this movie.

In the vein of Signs and Cloverfield, No One Will Save You is an alien invasion movie that follows an ordinary individual coping with extraordinary circumstances.  I enjoyed this movie and the others like it because it seems so much more realistic when an average person responds in an average way rather than rising to the ranks of unlikely hero.  Now, to be fair, Mr. Bleu did not enjoy this movie as much as I did, and my girls found it to be fair to middling, enjoyable but not earth shaking.  I think the real reason I liked it so much was two fold.  1.  The beautifully and thoughtfully styled home, wardrobe, and life of main character Brynn played by Kaitlyn Dever as she lives a life of an outcast in a forced seculsion.  2.  I can relate to her in many ways.  *At this point, let me just apologize for the potato quality of these photos.  Because this isn't a blockbuster, there are basically no studio released photos available. 

Brynn has evidentally spent her years of alone time creating a magical world for herself and building an enviable wardrobe.  (Check out that vintage Canyon Group Wedding Cake Robe!)  She wants everything to be lovely and good.  And yet, she is rejected by her community at every turn.  While her community has every right to be a little standoffish (really trying not to give anything away here)  I think to some degree every introvert feels this way about themselves and their place in the world as always being on the outside looking in and eventually just trying to make the outside as wonderful as possible since there seems to be no hope of ever getting inside while simultaneously continuing to try to get in.  Case in point, on her way into town to run errands, she spends time trying to decide which dress to wear and opts, in my opinion, for the safer less standout choice of a green floral.

In spite of her attempts, we see Brynn rejected and struggling until this Alien Invasion thing changes everything.  Because Brynn is so rejected she is unable to warn others, and so isolated we only see events unfold from her perspective.  This is the area in which Mr. Bleu took issue.  A movie like this typically offers some sort of self-sacrifice that leads to saving the world and redeeming the main character.  Not so with this movie, but again, this is where I found it more endearing.

 

Ok, so the more I talk about the movie, the more I am giving away and I would really rather let you watch it with as little info as possible, so let's get back to the clothes.  I love that everything Brynn wears is just so.  It's clear that she has put a lot of thought into her wardrobe by choosing elegant vintage pieces that she incorporates into her everyday life rather than having them be part of an untouched collection.  This is always the struggle I face when it comes to vintage things.  I fear that using them will tear them up, but what's the point of having them if you're not going to use them?  Brynn gets it, life is for the living and everyday should be beautiful.  Check out this extra ruffley powder blue peignoir set.  After watching this film I decided to invest in some vintage nylon nightgowns and they are so comfortable and pretty that I can't believe I ever lived without them!

Even her casual wear is filled with delicate details.  This outfit was hard to capture with screenshots because this is when the action really picks up, but this top is hardly a basic floral.  The print and design remind me of heirloom brand, Doen.  It's such an intricate pattern and the sleeves have some puff to them and some ruffle at the cuffs.  The trousers have a high waist and belt and the shoes even have lots of personality.  So, although this is still quite an understated look, it once again shows us that Brynn puts a lot of thought into every area of her life.  In fact, her time spent in reflection, perhaps over thinking to the point of being unable to esacpe her past, is a main theme. 

 

Later in the film, Brynn's personal style has evolved to bolder/larger floral prints, brighter colors, lipstick, and genuine smiles instead of desperate attempts to fit in.  This is reflected in outfits such as this embroidered folk blouse (which costume designer, Natalie O'Brien, had custom made for the film) and her party dress which you can see below.  Her hair has more volume and she wears lipstick once again as a way of saying she is Ok to standout and be herself.

So, was No One Will Save You a timeless classic or a solid gold hit?  Probably not, but I did really enjoy for reasons I can't discuss without ruining it for you and the art direction and costumes alone were enough to make it one of the most enjoyable movies of my year.

Graduation & The Next Step

Today I have officially completed my certification and am ready to start working in a new career field.  There will be more certifications to come, but the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step and this was that first step.  These past eleven months have been extremely challenging as I worked two jobs, interned at the place I hope to begin work now, and did my coursework.  For the most part, I loved the challenge of it all, but this last mile of the first step (i.e. the past two months) has definitely been the hardest and I'm glad that I can now scale back in some areas.  I'm looking forward to leaving one of my jobs and beginning work in a new field and just generally working less hours...hopefully.

Because I am a Type A, high-achieving personality, the people in my life have become very blasé about my accomplishments.  While I am flooded with relief and excitement, the most I'm likely to receive in the way of kudos from those closest to me is an even-toned "congratulations" usually accompanied by a confused look as I implore for more.  This is then followed by a phrase like, "I never doubted you would finish this," which when uttered has the distinct undertone of, "Duh, we all knew you would do it."  And that's it.  No cheers or warm hugs, no greeting cards, or getting taken out for a celebratory dinner.  (Although after writing this, my mom did come through and get me a congratulations cheesecake and it's going to be delicious even though I will be eating it with a side of crow)

As much as I am glad that the people in my life can count on me to see things through and do my best, it almost feels like a dismissal of all the hard work I've done.  These moments need to be properly acknowledged and celebrated in some way, even if I have to do it myself.  So, I did.  That's right, my shopping challenge ended and while I do intend to pick it back up again, I also need a break for the holidays anyway, so I splurged on something I have been wanting for several years now, a vintage chenille robe.

I was fortunate enough to be given a Canyon Group robe back in the 1990s when they were all over media.  Fran Drescher's character wore them in The Nanny, Jane Leeves character wore them in Fraiser, and most famously, Brad Pitt wore one in Fight Club.  There were so many cute styles and for Christmas one year I asked for the one  with mugs or the wedding cake design as shown above on Nanny Fine.  They were pricey even then and I wasn't sure I'd really get one, but Christmas day arrived and I was given this one------------------------>

It was excited that someone remembered and shelled out the money for any kind of robe of course, though a little disappointed it wasn't the design I wanted.  Still, it has been a very nice robe and I have worn it for over 20 years.  I wore it all through college, in my very first apartment and later my first house.  I wore it while I learned to cook and caught the sleeves on fire more than once.  I wore it while I walked the floors for hours on end trying to soothe cranky babies back to sleep.  After so many years, it is finally starting to look rough as the back has gone bald and the sleeves are forever singed.  And not to sound like a brat, but since this was not my favorite style to begin with, I have wanted to upgrade for years.  The trouble is these robes have only appreciated in value since the 90s and now typically range from $350 to $1,500.  I know, it's sounds crazy, but people pay it (evidently?).  I also know that I myself have spent, what to others would seem like, crazy amounts of money on pretty dresses, so I try not to judge, but I also just couldn't bring myself to spend that much on a used bathrobe.  

So, I watched and waited and eventually I saw a dreamy robe that was smack dab in the sweet spot of my price range (under $100!) turn up on ETSY and just in time to mark the milestone of graduating from my program, so I decided to treat myself to this quirky ruby gem:

Now, truth be told, this wouldn't have been my first pick in vintage robes.  It's so lovely, but I'm not really a red & black kind of girl.  When it comes to color palettes I prefer pink and ivory or other wedding cake pastels, but beggars can't be choosers.  Besides, it really is a lovely piece, very funky and unique which I love!  It's in very good condition, and it even still has a belt!

While I was at it, I also bought a vintage Miss Elaine nightgown in nylon and seriously where has this been all my life?!  Nylon is a fabric that has fallen away in popularity, but I adore this nightgown because it doesn't get all bunched up when I turn over, etc.  It maybe the most comfortable sleepwear I own!  I also picked out some vintage but NIB Daniel Green house slippers to complete this blast from the past glam ensemble because, as I mentioned, I don't really have anything in the way of red or black and it would kind of drive me crazy to have a robe this cool and not have the proper pieces to accompany it.  Or at least I didn't, but I do now.  And just to note the night gown and slippers were very inexpensive, so I didn't feel bad about adding them on.

You know I have been on a spending freeze because it's all I talked about for like two months now, and saving money is wonderful.  And challenging ourselves to put down our habits and hobbies and take some time away to refocus on what's really important is something we should all do throughout the year and throughout our lives.  It's surprising how many little things start out as something we enjoy and over time begin to control us.  I don't want that, which is why I did my month long spending challenge.

But, there is also a time to celebrate, a time to enjoy, and yes, even a time to splurge.  And while I think it's perfectly fine to be mindful of eating habits around the holidays, I'm certainly not going to be fasting through the time of feasting.  The same goes for my spending.  I am definitely going to be mindful of when I spend, but I'm not doing a spending lock-down during the most generous time of year.

The spending challenge will have to wait to carry on in January (actually, I am hoping to get the whole family on board) because it's important to mark the milestones and observe the rites of passage, to do something as a sign of recognition of all the hard work I have done this year, and looking back I can tell you it has really been a very hard, insanely busy and full year.  I will likely and hopefully wear this robe for another 20 years and I will think of this milestone every time I do.

(**Note the dazed look in my eyes in the photo below,  that's really how I feel at the end of all this).  So, in honor of completing this phase and really, really busting my bum for the past year in order to do it, not only in class work but also in working a second job to help pay for it, I thought this robe would be the perfect token of celebration as it can symbolize the beginning of a slower paced, less stressful way of life (at least for awhile).  

Outfit Info:  Vintage Robe from Etsy, Vintage Miss Elaine Nightgown, Vintage Daniel Green House Slippers

Cozy Things and Quiet Moments

Thanksgiving was a little less busy this year, but no less special for having few places to go.  While I know that the day after Thanksgiving comes with the Black Friday tradition of huge crowds and huge sales, I have my own tradition of taking a long walk in the quietest woods available.

The sales can be very helpful for those on a budget, I know a number of people who have included the camping out and fighting the crowds as part of their family time and made it an annual tradition, but I quite prefer this little ritual of mine.

It isn't just the walk I love, though taking this time of reflection does help me mentally prepare for the the busyness of the upcoming holidays.  I love getting ready for my walk, pulling thick skirts and cozy cardigans down out of the closet and wrapping up in them for a nice stroll in the chilly autumn air is just as much a part of the enjoyment for me as the walk itself.

With the holidays and the colder weather on the way I appreciate the quiet moments and the cozy things even more.  Now, let the festivities begin!

Outfit Info: VINTAGE MIDI JEAN DENIM SKIRT FOR WOMEN BUTTON FRONT HIGH WAIST A LINE CASUAL FLARE STRETCH-$49.99 from Belle Poque, WAFFLE KNIT BUTTON-DOWN CARDIGAN SWEATER LONG SLEEVE VINTAGE CHUNKY CABLE COATS-$39.99 from belle poque

Mindfulism: Cutting Spending = Cutting the Internet

It's been one month since I began my No-Spending Challenge and the results are pretty great actually.  Beginning in September, I printed two calendars for the month and started writing down every time I shopped and every time I actually spent money.  Now it may seem a little redundant, but it was actually really helpful for me to identify my pattern of stressful event->shopping->two to three days of shopping->buying something from those days.  I discovered that I would shop until I found something and then my brain would start to obsess and justify until I finally bought it.  If I didn't shop, I didn't obsess.  Living without that has been incredible!  

It turns out, if I don't shop, I don't buy unless it's something I really need.  I don't obsess over needs, I just fill them and move on.  The act of shopping for me creates the desire as I will look and look and look until I finally find something I want and then it feels like it's all I can think about until I get it. After looking at these calendars and connecting the dots, I realized there was only one way to actually cut out spending for a month--cut out shopping.  And the only way to cut shopping is to cut out the place where I do all my shopping--the internet.

How often have you gone to a store and found something lovely, then turned the price tag over, gasped, and walked away?  I never spend as much in-store as I do online.  Never.  For some reason, online shopping has always encouraged me to spend more.  Then there's the weeks of waiting and anticipation building for the order to arrive.  I remember a particularly low point in my life, very lonely and isolated, when I ordered something every single day because I needed something to look forward to and get excited about and that daily trip to the mail box to see what surprise was waiting was all I had.   It was sad, just sad.  But it was also easy, because for some reason, internet shopping pulls us in in a way that brick and mortar shopping just doesn't.

I realized a long time ago that I find the internet a very boring place.  The only thing I really do on here is shop.  I don't socialize or research, because I prefer books for research and face-to-face socializing.  And, let's face it, if I want to watch something entertaining, I have a t.v. and a ton of old movies and television shows, because nothing worth watching has come out in over a decade.  So, since I didn't want to spend money, I decided to cut the internet.  The first thing I did was delete all the shopping apps from my phone that way I couldn't shop during the day.  I did that in September to help ease me in to the shopping-freeze.     The next thing I did was to only use the internet for the blog, emails, and the occasional YouTube, but I made a rule that it could only be something funny, not a product review.

Turns out, I don't really miss the internet at all.  Of course I had some impulses to shop, but I told myself I really didn't need anything, just had endless wants.  I also reminded myself of all the time I had spent getting rid of stuff and how I didn't want to do that again.  After that brief moment of contemplation, I always made myself get up and go do something.  Spoiler: it was usually cleaning or studying for my finals, but those are both needful things, so it was always beneficial for me to not be distracted and actually get something done.  

After a month of no internet shopping, here's what I have concluded:

1. My life is better without the internet
2. My life and home are more organized without the shopping
3. My stuff means more when I have less
4. Freedom is a feeling that is beyond compare

A Fall Cardigan

Two weeks of glorious colors does not seem like nearly enough time to be able to soak all this in before winter arrives, but I am certainly trying to make the most of it while I can.  A big part of autumn is the color of course, but it's also in the festivals, the sounds of family gathering and friends laughing, and of course the smells of delicious foods baking and the home fires burning on chilly evenings.

The weather here goes back and forth a bit before truly making up its mind each season but we are now decidedly into autumn.We've already had to start a fire this fall and it always adds a little haste to my steps from the car to the front door when I know there is a cozy fire waiting on the other side of it.  

It's time to pull out the wool flannels and soft cardigans and cozy up for fall.  My plaid skirt I've had for ages, but this Waffle Knit Vintage Cable Cardigan from Belle Poque has been the perfect accompaniment as it has the perfect vintage touches to make it look truly authentic, so I can walk these woods in perfect vintage style while all the colors last.

Outfit info:  Waffle Knit Vintage Cable Cardigan from Belle Poque, Skirt by Pink Martini, Parisienne Espresso Flats from Charlie Stone.

3 Reasons Why A Minimalist Wardrobe Won't Work For Me (Right Now)

At the beginning of my experiment with decluttering and a no-spend challenge, I started watching a lot of videos about what others were doing so I could glean from them and ultimately be more of a success.  But, one thing that I have taken away from all those hours of watching their content, it's that some things that work for "them" do not work for everyone and definitely will not work for me at this time in my life.  I'm not throwing shade at them because they're all just trying to help others by sharing something that's made a difference in their own lives and I admire them for it.  My goal in writing this post is more to shed light on the fact that just because something is good and works for some, does not mean it is a blanket solution for everyone.  So, let's dive in to my reasons for having a mindful wardrobe instead of minimalist.

3.  I Love Colors:   After spending the past three months decluttering my closet and watching a lot of minimalist videos for tips and inspiration, I have noticed a trend in their wardrobes and it is this:  BORING.  If you haven't spent a lot of time watching this sort of content it all boils down to two basic fashion types  those who have a tasteful wardrobe built around neutrals and those who just have clothes they put on their bodies but not much in the way of style.  Of course not every minimalist falls into one of these two camps, but we're speaking of majorities here, and yes, that's basically what you get from minimalists.  Those who opt for all neutrals tend to still look chic, but in a very bland way.  Everything is beige, white, or black.  They look good, but interesting?  No, not really.  And the other group are mostly the people who don't care what they wear.  It's a hodgepodge of stretchy pants, comfy tops, and slouchy shoes with the occasional maxi dress thrown in for good measure.  The neutrals usually look nice; the others usually look comfortable, but neither group looks joyful.  Neither of these categories of minimalist looks like they love their lives or what they wear, because as much as we wish it weren't so, your outward appearance really does say a lot about what's going on inside.  Now, if it works for these people, then more power to them (so, there's no need to leave a nasty comment that I'm never going to publish anyway).  All I am saying is that it wouldn't work for me because I love colors, I love pretty clothes, and I love my life.  Everyday feels like an adventure and I want that to show.  Which is why the mindfulness approach makes much more sense for me.

2.  I Wear A Lot of Hats:  Once again, watching these minimalist influencers, I have noticed that many of them work from home in some capacity.  If you work from home, there goes a huge chunk of your wardrobe because your at-home stuff can now do double duty.  I don't have that luxury at the moment, but I can tell you that when I was a stay-at-home-mom, I didn't have nearly as many clothes either.  I don't even have the luxury of the basic triad of work/home/evening-out clothing staples, because I am working three very different jobs which require three very different styles of clothing.  I also have a farm, so I need farm-work clothes.  And then you have the evening-out stuff as well.  So, having a minimalist wardrobe just wouldn't be enough to cover all the areas of my life as it is right now, but a mindful approach totally does.

1.  Distinct Seasons:  Oh to live in a place where the weather stays relatively the same all year round.  Actually my girls and I used to live on a tiny island near Canada that stayed cold all year round, and  come to think of, we didn't need a lot of clothing variety because it never got warm.  We pretty much just needed a winter coat and a summer coat and then things to layer throughout the endless winter.  Now we live in a place where it will be 20 degrees below freezing in the winter and 110F in the summer.  Layering?  Yup, still need it for a few months at least but we definitely need a larger variety of the types of clothes we wear too.

So, as much as I have loved and appreciated all the advice from minimalist influencers about how to simplify my life and closet, and as much as I have taken that advice to heart and made some major changes, I know I can't pare it down to just 30 pieces or whatever other magic number many of them use.  I do hope that one day, and very, very soon, that I will be working less jobs and wearing less hats, for the moment  I am content just to be mindful about what I buy and keep.

Mindfulism: How It All Went

It's been one month since I began my No-Shopping Challenge.  As much as I expected to use this report the moderate ups and severe downs of the past 30 days, I did not expect to say this:  It was a (tenuous) success.  I have tried this challenge a number of times over the years, usually with very poor to exactly zero positive results, but this time something was different.  

For the first two weeks I was breezing through and feeling great. I really wasn't tempted beyond what I could manage.  And, you should know that during this month I earned several referral credits at shops I have never earned credit from before and one that I have.  It felt almost deliberate, like some malicious force was trying to tempt me to backslide, especially because they had expirations on them and I felt the pressure to hurry up and use them.  That's the point after all, to pressure us into spending right away.  So, around week 3 I did cave in and use one of my credits for $30, but opted to wait on the others and if they expire, they expire.  

In spite of those enticements, overall, I did well, not perfect, but pretty good and definitely better than I have ever done before.  Maybe I was just in the right mindset; maybe doing all the prep work of decluttering and shopping/spending-tracking really helped to set the stage for success so that I could be fully aware of how much I was engaging in this behavior and when so that I could create a strategy for success.  Whatever the case, this time I finally feel like I am a step closer to my goals.

After about two weeks, I had a pretty big emotional upset as I had to close the door on a dream of mine and resign myself to settling.....I didn't want to shop right away.  I actually wanted to just deal with the feelings.  But, once the feelings subsided and I felt myself settling into the apathy of resignation, that's when I really felt my brain begging me for some kind of a boost, something to look forward to, to distract me, or make me feel hopeful/creative.  I didn't buy, but I definitely did some shopping.  And the funny thing is, I told myself I was, "just looking,"  knowing that the next step is always shopping, so in the end, I had to put away my screens and decided to go clean out my closet again.

Since this challenge has worked so well, I have decided to keep it going for another month.  There is one more thing I should mention.  Even though I was trying not to shop or spend for the month of October, I was still spending money.  I had made several large purchases in September, (my bonus night with Selkie--eesh, I'm still doing the walk of shame over that one) so my bank account was still taking the hit due to the payment plan I set up and I didn't really get to see what kind of savings I could have with no spending.  So, I decided to keep this train going.

The key to any successful habit change is persistence above anything else.  As Will Durant once said, "We are what we repeatedly do.  Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."  So, since I am feeling so empowered and energized by the past month, why stop?  I don't need to go back to the way of life that wasn't working for me emotionally, spatially, or financially, so why would I?

To Market, to Market, on a Fall Day

It happens every year.  Every.  Single.  Year.  Just as I have totally given up on having a lovely fall and resigned myself to the fact that it's been to hot, cold, wet, or dry, in other words the conditions just weren't right for pretty colors, and I settle in for a winter that will be that much bleaker without the glory of autumn to see us through, just when I'm in that place, ZANG!  All the colors appear!

And boy did the leaves ever show off this year.  Wow!  I went out to do photos on a Saturday afternoon and everything was still green or turning brown.  On Sunday it was more of the same, and then Monday morning, there it all was.  It was such a glorious display that I set all my work aside and spent half an hour or so just wandering in the woods admiring this most splendid of nature's displays.

It seemed only fitting then if fall was going dress up so nicely that, in the words of Emily Dickinson, "lest I should be old fashioned, I'll put a trinket on."  Or maybe more than just a trinket, actually a beautiful dress and this dress certainly is a beauty.

My long slow break-up with Selkie has hit another speed bump as I went to Free People the other day and saw this new style called the Market Dress in a print that I could not resist.  In my opinion, (and I apologize in advance for the nerd-speak Lord of the Rings metaphor) the Market Dress is to the Puff dress as Gandalf the White was to Saruman the Grey, which is to say that this is such a vast improvement and it's what it always should have been.

This particular print that stole my heart is called Jam Cake.  As far as I know, it is not yet released on Selkie's site and may never be as Selkie often comes out with exclusive styles for shops like Free People and Anthropologie.  It's also available in a print called Beth Plaid, which is certainly part of the Little Women collection that is being released on November 15th.  I loved both prints actually, but at $325 a pop, I could only afford one and that was kind of a stretch.  I figured I would get more around the year wear out of this lovely floral print than I would for green plaid.  Although the plaid of the the Beth print would make the perfect holiday dress, I can't see myself wearing it any other time except maybe St. Paddy's Day.

Once again, I can't say if all the fabric will be like this, because the Unicorn Defends Ritz that I bought last year from Free People is the softest Selkie I own, or at least it was until this dress came along, but this dress is as smooth as butter.  It is so luxe, it feels amazing!  The sleeves aren't too overwhelming and I love the little bow ties on them.  Plus, this dress has a tie at the waist for more definition and that is something that was definitely lacking in previous puffs, and it has pockets!!  Huzzah!  So many design wrongs have been righted in this dress that I really adore it.

Outfit info:  Selkie Market Dress in Jam Cake-$325 from Free People, 

Doll ring from Unlogical Poem