ISO's Really Do Come True

How do we get ISO's?  Chances are if you're reading this blog, it's because you're a fellow fashionista who regularly checks all the best shops for the latest styles.  And yet somehow you'll come across a stunning dress or skirt that's long gone and think, "How did I miss that?"  While simultaneously thinking, "I gotta have that, where can I get it?!"  Suddenly you're In Search Of that dazzling unicorn that slipped by you in store.  For years I'd see those ISO listings pop up, but I never really thought they worked.  Occasionally if I'd seen the dress in question I'd comment on the post, but for the most part the posts were so old, commentless and gathering dust, and I'd always feel sorry for the poor schmuck who really thought they'd find what they were looking for by relying on the kindness of equally fashion-obsessed strangers.  That was before.....

I think I must be stuck in 2013, the heyday of ModCloth's novelty dresses, when I wanted everything and couldn't afford anything.  Since then I've grown, matured, gotten a better job that allows me to purchase the really special dresses if I want them, but I never forgot those first loves.  I thought I'd moved on, but when I saw the Sea Shanty Singing Dress by RockSteady, it reignited my love for that label.  ModCloth carried some of their finest dresses and I.....didn't....buy....any...of....them...back then.    I finally managed to track down the Sea Shanty dress in Navy (c0ming soon) and in Pink(recently posted).  Then I found the Space Cadet Dress.  But there was one more, the original, one of the very first dresses I ever drooled over at ModCloth---Clowning Around in Ivory.

I remember that it was Christmastime and I'd been given a gift certificate to ModCloth.  It was enough for two dresses, just two.  And I had narrowed it down to three with Clowning Around as a heavy contender.  In the end, it was the customer reviews that prevented me.  People complained that the sizing was way off, so I went with the sure bet and bought a dress that I don't even want to mention because it was boring, fit terribly, and I ended up never wearing it and always regretting that decision.  (Oh, my, did she just devote five paragraphs to a dress she didn't buy seven years ago?  You Bet I did.  And I've got at least two more in me, so buckle up or X out).

If there is one thing I've learned about myself over the last five years of doing this blog it's that I am obsessive.  It can be a bad thing such as spending hours going over a conversation with a good friend and picking apart every detail to agonize over the things I said wrong and whether or not I offended her and now we'll never talk again.  Or when I didn't buy a dress and spend seven years looking for it, so I can add it to the approximately 3,000 other dresses in what used to be a bedroom but is now a Dress Holding Room--screw it, I can sleep on the couch.  

Yes, sometimes I am ashamed of how much I fixate on everything.  But, as I work through my mania here, I've also realized how my obsessive personality has been a positive thing in my life too, like the way I never leave a job unfinished, or how I will comb through every detail of everything I do until it is the very best representation of what I can offer and do-- be it parenting, friendships, the workplace, etc.  

I'm learning to accept myself (not to excuse myself) but to try and have balance as much as possible, but also and not to be too hard on myself.  After all, everybody has their quirks and hangups.  So, I knew when this renewed and feverish search began in June of this year, it wasn't going to end until I finally owned the dress.

After so many close calls, (I found two in the right size, but both were outdated listings and the orders were canceled) I turned in desperation as a last resort to the ISO.  When I tried it for the first time with Sea Shanty it yielded absolutely nothing and I wasn't expecting any better this second and even more desperate time around.  To my surprise, within minutes I got a hit.  It didn't pan out.  Then a few hours later, a second hit and this one was a success!  Some lovely fellow fashion-lover had the dress, was ready to part with it and for a very reasonable price.  We quickly struck a deal and I held my breath waiting.  The dress arrived in three days and before it even arrived I got a third hit for the same dress in gray (and, yes, I did buy that one too).

So, while ISO listings may not bear any fruit, it certainly doesn't hurt to try, because there are a few kind strangers out there who love fashion just as much you and me and we've all got each other's backs.

Shopping Info: Clowning Around Dress by RockSteady, Heart Bag from: SHEIN, Paprika Heels from ThredUp.  Use my link to sign up and save $10 off your first order.

I Love Lucy

I know I spend an excessive amount of time bringing up Anne of Green Gables, but I think it's high time I mentioned another of my favorite spunky red-heads--Lucille Ball.

Lucille Ball is considered by pretty much everyone with a heartbeat and a sense of humor to be one of the funniest women of all time.  That in itself is a great accomplishment, but consider that she was also a beautiful woman who began as a model and became a major style icon.  

She was a wife and mother of two children.  She was a successful actress and singer on Broadway.  She starred in her own televisions shows and eventually became the first woman to run a major television studio which produced hits like Star Trek.  Lucille Ball was all around an amazing woman.

I was thrilled when Unique Vintage released its I Love Lucy collection to honor this great and very stylish woman.  There are a lot of great pieces in this collection, but for me it had to be this navy & white polka dot dress from a classic episode of I Love Lucy.  

As much as I would have loved to duplicate her hairstyle and make-up to do a look alike photo shoot, I am pretty hopelessly awful at hairstyles.  Besides, there are quite a few like minded fashion lovers out there who've already done it better than I, so I thought I'd just stick to styling this dress the way I would likely wear it in my everyday.

Let's do a quick dress review in this post.  This dress fits true to size and has a fantastic cut with a full skirt and darted bodice.  The fabric is a light weight crepe which is nice for summer, and the full skirt lends itself to being worn with or without a petticoat.  It also has pearl buttons down the front and comes with a belt.

This collection from UV covers some classic Lucy styles and honors a truly amazing lady.  I hope this collection keeps going and UV continues to add more great styles.

Shopping Info: I Love Lucy x Unique Vintage Navy & White Polka Dot Ricardo Swing Dress, gloves from Claire's, White peep toe heels from ThredUp

All Eyes on Mew

Every couple of months I like to see what irresistible new prints Collectif has in store at ModCloth.  On one of my autumn visits (last year), I fell for this cat print top and this plaid pinafore.  This collection of photos has been sitting on my thumb drive ever since but this outfit does have that back-to-school feel, so I decided now (in the early pre-back-to-school time) is the perfect time to post it.

I didn't necessarily intend to put them together, but when the package arrived, I laid them both out on the table and thought, Why not?  They just look right together.

And so, an outfit was born!

I love a pinafore dress and a novelty print any day of the week, but some days I'll admit to choosing very specific styles based on what the day will demand of me. 

Some of my work involves working with children and it never ceases to amaze me how detail oriented they are.  An adult might come up to me and say, “Oh, I love that cat top.”  

A child is more likely to come up to me extend a tiny chubby finger and say, “I like this cat the best out of all the cats on that shirt.”  I just want to grab them up and hug them in those moments most of all.

I don't dress to please anyone but myself really, but I do enjoy the way that the kids' eyes will spark when they see a pretty dress or a cute print and cats usually top the list.

Shopping Info:  All Eyes on Mew Peplum Top in 6 (UK) - Short Sleeve Short Length by Collectif from ModCloth, Pinafore, The Zest is History Heels in Burgundy from ModCloth

Blueberry Picking

I mentioned in a previous post that this year, the farms where I live were hit by a late frost which killed most of the fruit crops, particularly the berries.  Since we were very careful to cover our garden each time the frost threatened, we didn't have any loss and actually thought maybe the frost wasn't so bad and we were over reacting to cover it so much.  

As it turns out a late frost surprised a lot of farms and there aren't any berries to speak of this year.  I called the farm we always visit and the farmer told us we could still come to pick, but he would only be open for a few days because there just wasn't enough there to warrant fully opening.  

So, at 5:30 a.m. we got up, dressed and made it to the berry farm by 7:30.  Well, actually I got up at 5:30.  Everyone else stayed in bed for an extra hour.  By the time we reached the farm, the sun was well over the hillside and it was already hot, but we were determined to have at least a pint or two of fresh berries as part of our summer tradition.

Well, I wish I could say we came home the conquering heroes, but after half an hour or so, we left.  There really just weren't that many berries and what we did find was very tart.  So, we picked just enough to make a pie and when we baked it, we added a little extra sugar to cover the tartness.

Still we enjoyed the morning together and kept a tradition alive and this is one tradition I simply cannot do without.  I look forward to it each summer and there won't be many more before my children are grown and gone into the world leading their own busy lives.  They won't join me here at the crack of dawn to wander down these rows picking berries, so it's important to make the best of the time we have together.

Shopping Info: COLLECTIF MAINLINE NOVA RAINBOW STRIPES SWING DRESS, or at Top Vintage, Earrings gifted from Natuloth

Cherry-O!

Time for something cute, something whimsical and quirky, and Kawaii!

I really adore the cuteness factor of this cherry print.  Everything about it is sweet and girly and I love the fact that it came in a matching skirt and blouse set.

I could use a little something cute and cheery today.  Do you ever have those days when you wake up and think, "Oh, Noooo.  I can't believe it's morning already.  And I have to get out of bed and go to____ or do ___.  Can't I just sleep for a few more....days?"   Of course we can't, but it's nice to consider it for a moment or two before dragging out of bed with a quick whispered promise of "I'll see you soon," to our pillows.

For me the key seems to be finding or creating little things throughout the day to look forward to and take enjoyment from.  It's my favorite breakfast (homemade sourdough rye toast with an egg over-easy) in the morning, and maybe a relaxing teatime with an interesting article to read in the afternoon.   Or maybe it's a quick five minute yoga session in the middle of the chaos.

And of course and especially on the toughest days, it means looking through my extensive carefully curated closet of exquisite things to put together an interesting outfit that makes me smile.

Sound off in the comments below about what gets you through a tough day.  BTW, "wine" is an acceptable answer.

Shopping Info:  Cherry dress set from Shein, Purse from Unique Vintage, Shoes from ModCloth

Fruit for Thought

A little fruit for thought today (play on words intended). As a part of my unconventional high school education, I read Plato's Apology. I fell in love with apologetics, and even today prefer it to all other methods of education and discourse. The line that most stood out to me as an impressionable teen was Socrates', "The unexamined life is not worth living."  Fresh on the heels of a very lengthy and interesting conversation with a friend, I thought I would devote a little time to the subject of self-reflection.  Self-reflection means turning inward to examine your actions, the motives behind them, and the walls of denial we build for self protection.  Sounds pretty heavy for a light-hearted blog like this, right?  Don't worry, we'll keep it as light as possible.

In my experience, the very first person we lie to is ourselves.  When presented with a situation that involves doing something which is wrong, our conscience checks us.  That little voice says, "this is wrong, don't do this."  If we want to do this wrong thing, if the voice of the conscience is weak, we begin to find reasons why this thing isn't so bad or why it is bad but we can handle it even if others cannot.  That is called a justification and if you have to justify something it means you know it's wrong.  Self reflection begins with an earnest look at our selves.  No more justifications.  No more lies.

As I go through my daily life, I see so many angry, unhappy people.  They feel this way for many reasons, but it all boils down to the fact that they are not living their best lives.  They repeat the same destructive behaviors over and over sinking further each time, and making excuses for why their current situation has nothing to do with their traumas, addictions, poor choices, etc.  And so, they continue to sink.  But they don't have to.  You don't have to.  If you're miserable in the way your life is going, there is hope.

Living an honest life brings the ultimate freedom and it all begins with self reflection.  Let me give you an example:  a few years ago I applied for a promotion at a company I had worked for for five years.  I went to the interview and was questioned by the same group of people that I had seen every day for the past five years.  I thought it was a lock.  They passed.  I was hurt and shocked and since my position with the company was ending, it was this or unemployment.  I didn't know what to do.  I could have been devastated--How could they do this to me?!!  I could have played the blame game--It was that b!5#h Linda!  She's always hated me!!  I could have had a pity party--Oh, nothing ever goes my way.  Why me??!  I could have been in denial--Well, I'm just too good for that company.  But, I decided to step back from my emotions and be honest with myself.

  The truth of the matter is that: 

1.  I had not done my best at that job.  I was young and flippant and I knew (thought) that my position was temporary, then when the opportunity for a permanent position came along, I already had an established reputation that wasn't the best.  I should have done better and would remember this lesson for the future.--This is within my control to change.

2.  Linda is a b!%#h and she probably did vote against me getting hired.  There's nothing I could have done about that, everyone hated her and she hated everyone.--This is not within my control.  In her defense, she probably wasn't the only one who voted against me and by that point, people's opinions were fixed and that was also too late for me to change/control.

3.  Did I really want to work that meaningless job for another five years?  No, not at all.  If they had given me the job, I probably would have stayed forever, but my heart wouldn't have been in it. Leaving that company made me take a leap into another career field that was far more fulfilling, more like me, than the other job.--This is within my control to an extent.

I changed the things that I could change.  I accepted the things I had no control over.  Being honest (rational, not emotional) led me to a great freedom about that situation and the great news is that it works for every situation.  I know this is a very small thing, but I had to start somewhere and beginning to look at things this way has led me to a lifestyle of honesty and that has made me free.  Take this same strategy and apply it to an unhealthy relationship.  Say to yourself, I am unhappy, Why?  What part of this is my fault and how can I change it.  What do I really need from my partner, friend, family member, etc. and are they willing to change?  How can I get the things that I want/need and am I prepared for the consequences that come with laying down healthy boundaries in an unhealthy relationship?  How much of my issues are linked to my own past trauma that I have not wanted to talk about with this person or to deal with myself?   

So how do you get started?  Turn off the world, sit down with a cup of tea and a pen and notebook in a quiet place and work through these things.  Don't do it in a day.  Take your time and discuss the things you discover with someone you trust, a friend, family member or counselor, to keep you accountable, especially in the beginning as you learn to stop the denial and justification and be honest with yourself.  When you begin to lay down the weight of self-lies, denial, justifications, and begin to live a life of self reflection, self-examination and honesty you will know such freedom and you will live your very best life.

Shopping info: ModCloth Delighted All Day Romper in Fruit

Old Favorites: New Style

When you find really great pieces of clothing, you tend to wear them year after year, outfit after outfit.  I know I have a lot of clothes  (more than a lot....I might have a problem....) but part of the reason is that I love finding those versatile items that go with everything in new ans unique ways.

Today's outfit is almost entirely comprised of clothes I've had for years and wear with everything.  This AE cardi was found at a thrift shop, has been in my wardrobe for nearly a decade and is still going strong.

The skirt came as part of a set from ChicWish a few years ago and has been washed and dried multiple times and still looks just as crisp as day one.

The shoes were another thrifted find from ThredUp that have featured many times in my outfits to add that bright pop of color.

The top is new-ish from Forever21.  I bought it a year ago--a tank top on winter clearance that sat waiting hopefully for warmer days and just the right ensemble.  Now it's time has finally come and with it as the only exception, I'm sure you've seen me wear all these things before at least once if not many times over the years.

I think it's important to keep using classic faves in my outfit posts, because a truly great top or skirt or pair of shoes with fit right in with your changing style and continue working well with just about anything.