Of Lace and Legacies

Well, November is almost over.  The fields have gone from emerald to amber and gold.  I've stretched out my love affair with autumn as long as I possibly can and now I think it's time to say goodbye to all my Halloween and autumn things. (BTW.  You can get this sequin pumpkin dress for an extra 30% off at Unique Vintage's Cyber Monday sale with the code BESTMONDAY)

As promised I did watch and wait until the post-Halloween sales to buy a few things for next year  including this sequined pumpkin dress, which is so like the Halloween version of the strawberry dress that I knew I would definitely buy it.  It is such a gorgeous vintage style and so whimsical and unique that I hope that many of my dresses will be heirlooms that will be passed down to my daughters and their daughters, and this dress will definitely be one of those heirlooms. 

This was my dream, you know, to have gorgeous gowns from a bygone era lovingly entrusted to me by a like-minded matriarch.  But, that dream was not to be for me anyway.  My family history is mostly comprised of farmers and not the wealthy type either.  There wasn't much left at the end of their short lives.  They were strong women, women of faith and integrity, but not means.  And that kind of life can take its toll.  They were hard women too, to the point of being bitter or withdrawn.  To the point of being more like farm equipment rather than human beings, let alone women.

Don't misunderstand me, I know that life, I know what it takes and I love the legacy they left me because it came at such a great personal cost--the best and most worthy things always do.  I learned to work hard without complaining, to sacrifice without regret.  I have learned to be satisfied and find joy in life whether I have more than I need or not nearly enough.  I have learned to hold onto my faith no matter what my circumstances.  And that has made all the difference.  

I want to give all those things to my children.  But I have to do more than that.  I have to add my own heirlooms as well.  I hope that my children and grandchildren will receive from me, all those things plus grace, tact, an enduring willingness to forgive, to keep their hearts open, and yes, some style.    

Because life is more than trials and heartache; it's laughter and whimsy.  It's getting dirty working on the farm and dressing up for a night out.  Don't get so busy working that you become just a cog in the machine.  Be an individual; be a woman.  You miss the beauty if you're always looking at the mess.  In the same way it's easy to miss the beauty of each passing season if we are eternally in love with spring--or autumn in my case.

So, as I keep this tradition of turning my attention away from autumn and toward all that winter has to offer--the beauty and the challenges like having enough food stocked up in case the roads turn icy and we can't leave the mountain top for days and days--I carefully fold up my pretty dresses, all the sequins, all the lace, properly preserving them each year so they like all the life lessons I try to impart to my children will stand the test of time and I can pass them along to some future generation.

Shopping Info: Black Mesh & Orange Sequin Pumpkins Vanity Swing Dress-$76.99 from Unique Vintage, Pumpkin Bag from from: SHEIN

Black Friday at Tatyana

 Tatyana's Black Friday sale is amazing.  Get 50% off with code GET50

The Final Count Down

One look at this space cadet print and cutey rocket ship bag and you already know what this post is all about--Sci-Fi!  Much like a futuristic bounty hunter, I spent months tracking down this particular dress and Oh, how it eluded capture.  But, in the end, my prize was won!  That should be a triumphant moment of celebration, right?  But, do you ever find yourself a little depressed when a goal is complete?

If you're new to the conversation on my sci-fi dress hunting, then just know that I have been thrifting to collect an out of print space cadet novelty print from RockSteady in all its various forms and after months of pursuit I shall very shortly and much like the greatest sci-fi bounty hunter of all time, Ash Ketchum, Catch Them All!

I'm coming to the end of this little project, the final countdown if you will, with only one last piece left to style and over the years I've noticed a pattern in myself.  Once the moment of elation wears off, I'm down, lost even, and searching for something new to challenge me.  I rarely take the time to just celebrate my accomplishment and then relax and let the next thing find me.  It's quite common in creative types, but if we can't find some balance to it all, the pursuit can become all consuming and those lows can lead us to a very dark place.

I saw an ad last year for this new wonder drug which is supposed to, in my opinion, "cure" the highs and lows that come with certain personality types.  It upset me to think that this very natural part of the creative process was being deemed a mental health issue in need of medicating.  What people need, more than pills, is a little self control and a little balance to all things.

Human beings have been around for thousands of years without modern brain chemistry altering drugs.  Imagine if someone had medicated Michelangelo or Hans Christian Andersen or Isaac Newton, because they deemed their fixation and subsequent low to be an undesirable quality.  Read up on these figures if you're not familiar and you'll see exactly what I mean about the creative mind becoming obsessed with an idea.  It's not a bad thing, it just needs temperance.

I'm a creative type and I'm prone to obsession, so one of the ways I tried to keep my interest from becoming unhealthy obsession is by not having the internet in my home.  That meant that there were only certain days of the week and times of day when I could search.  The rest of the time I had to do and think about other things.  With the quarantine we had to get the internet so that we could all work from home and I very quickly noticed that things were getting out of balance.

 

I had to set rules for myself and follow them BEFORE it gets out of hand.  When you're deep into an obsession it's very often impossible to handle on your own, (I understand that that's where medication can be useful--so long as it's a temporary thing) and the best thing you can do if you relate to this personality type is to not let yourself get in too deep.

Obsession is much like addiction and there are similar methods of keeping yourself in check to see if you're heading in the right direction or getting off track.  It will take self awareness (am I forgetting priorities, am I spending too much time on X) and deliberately making time to examine your mood and behavior (am I feeling anxious, speeding up to try to outrun the anxiety, is depression lurking as I near the end of this project) and then creating a plan to refocus.  

For me, I like to plan something else and have a set start date for my next task.  This allows me to enjoy my accomplishment, and the time of rest that follows.  It alleviates the depression and feeling lost because I know the next thing is on the way.

To be perfectly candid, I didn't sit down to write about this subject at all.  My intention when I started writing this post was to focus on something science fiction-y, but this is where the conversation has taken us and I'm not the least bit sorry we've taken this detour together. I've only got one more post from this sci-fi collection and then it's time for a much needed break from my searching.

Shopping Info:  Rocket Ship Bag, Rock Steady Dress from Poshmark, Tits from Shein

*Self Evaluation Process--FASTER scale from Michael Dye at www.genesisprocess.org

Life Lessons & Little Things

You know what I love most about Australian fashion?  Since their seasons are opposite ours, everything I want is always on sale.  They're clearing out all their corduroys and long sleeves just at the time I'm on the prowl for some.  It's brilliant.

My favorite Aussie companies are Sunny Girl which makes lots of cute dresses and Princess Highway which carries lots of lovely floral and novelty prints and from whom I got this adorable Rainy Day print corduroy skirt.

It always puts me in mind of our time in the Pacific Northwest.  Not just because this skirt accurately describes our years there, i.e. constant rain, but also because when all the chain stores were putting their winter things on clearance, we were due for a restock on winter things.  There wasn't really such a thing as summer, just High Winter and Low Winter.

It also, in the spirit of the season, makes me quite thankful.  I am thankful for more sunny days than rainy ones, and I am thankful to live in a place with four distinct seasons.  I suppose that all sounds rather like a trivial thing to be thankful for, but after so many years of cold gray gloom the sunshine is a glorious thing which I will never take for granted again.

The older I get the more I think life lessons are really very simple things.  They mostly involve learning to daily appreciate the little things as much as the big things and take nothing for granted. 

I wish it didn't take hardships to get us silly humans to open our eyes to such simple truths, but unfortunately it nearly always does.  So, even in hard times, I try not to balk too much, because I know I will emerge from them a kinder, more thoughtful, and ultimately more grateful person.

So, thank you, Australia for your opposite seasons and wonderful sales, because they made one of my new favorite autumn outfits possible at a very reasonable price.

Shopping Info: Top from: SHEIN, Rainy Day Pinny or Trousers from Princess Highway

Secondhand Savings vs. Black Friday Madness

This is the day that has come to be known as "Black Friday" and that title is quite apt because it has become a dark day indeed.  Black Friday has become a day of such avarice and such appalling, monstrous behavior all in the name of saving a few dollars.

I've never been Black Friday shopping that I can remember and I never wish to participate in such an awful concept.  There are better ways to save money than trampling people to death while rushing with the mob to buy big screen tvs.

Black Friday may look a little different this year with all these "social distancing" rules in place, but I don't see how the ugly spirit of it could be changed with a few more feet between customers.  As a seasoned shopper, my advice is that there is a better way to save.

Case in point:  today's outfit is 100% thrifted--apart from the headband--and while at retail price it would likely have cost me in the neighborhood of $150 to $200, purchasing all these secondhand meant that this entire look came in at under $50. And no one died in the process!

Secondhand shopping is such a great way to not only save money, but to make a little as well.  My children used to wear school uniforms which they inevitably outgrew and needed replaced with longer hemlines and sleeves each year.  None of the schools around here required that uniform but theirs, so I bagged everything up at the end of each school year and sent it off to ThredUp.

It felt good to know that some money savvy mama was going to save a little on her children's uniforms and I was going to earn a little store credit towards buying a few things for my kiddos, and ThredUp made a little commission for their troubles.  Everyone wins.

If I may offer another little tip: I've notice that a lot of stores have better sales on those same Black Friday items at other times of the year.  But people don't seem to notice that they're paying more in November than they would be if they'd bought it at the Labor Day sale in September because now there is a stigma of "lowest prices" attached to Black Friday so people don't pay attention or question it.  You may be putting yourself and others in harms way while being duped on the "savings."

If Black Friday shopping is something you love, I won't take that from you, but I'm also not going to stand in line with you or help you mercilessly beat someone to get the last ceramic ashtray that says, "rest your butt here" because it's on the Black Friday sale bill for only pennies of the original price.  Just stay safe and humane if you can and I'll be here at home saving money the secondhand way.

Shopping Info:  Outfit from ThredUp.  Use my link to save $20 off your first purchase at ThredUp.

We Gather Together

I have been far away from home for many holidays and as difficult as that was, I am thankful for the experience, because it taught me how important it is to celebrate and keep traditions alive with the people who matter most to us.

I didn't like Thanksgiving when I was a child.  I thought it was a food holiday only and it was all foods I didn't like.  And then there was the football game which I absolutely despised, but there was that one obnoxious uncle who dominated the TV with "the game."  Ugh, was there any point in this holiday?  It was just another hurdle standing between me and Christmas.

It wasn't until years later, when my extended family had fallen apart and fallen away and I myself was in a dorm room for several weeks of holiday break across the pond and totally alone that I finally began to realize what I'd had and lost and exactly how important it is to gather together with family and be grateful.  It came again, a stronger reminder, when my children were little and we were 2,000 miles away from all our family and friends for the first of many holidays of just we three, that I realized the importance of keeping family traditions alive.

 

The world can be a hard place, an awful place, a cruel and unjust and bizarre place, but there is always something for which to be thankful.  If you're struggling to find something good in your life I think the people you love are the best place to start.

For better or worse, things won't always be the same.  The bad times pass, but so do the good.  Perhaps your childhood Thanksgivings weren't the best, but let go of the bad things.  There must have been something good that you can focus on and some tradition, no matter how small that you can pass down to the next generation and keep that flame alive.

I know some people have a problem with this holiday, but so what.  Some people are desperately looking for something to have a problem with and get offended about all the time.  I can't be bothered with people like that.  

If rage and anger and offense give them purpose, I respect their choice.  They don't have to celebrate today.  I choose to give thanks.  Not just today, but each and everyday I choose to be grateful for all that I have and all that I have learned, even if I had to learn it the hard way.

And today I choose to gather together with each and every person I love and tell them so over a heaping plate of foods I have grown to truly enjoy and a total lack of sports of any kind on the television.  Happy Thanksgiving, from my family to you and yours.

Shopping Info:  Bettie Page Dress from Poshmark, Heels from ThredUp, Gloves from Claire's

A Pastel Pause

Shall we take a brief intermission from all things autumn?  I know not everyone loves the fall as much as I do, so I thought it was time to pause for a few pastels instead.  One of my favorite shops, The Other Sparrows, which made this lovely salmon printed dress is taking a break as well.  It seems Covid has impacted their business and they have to pause production for a time and I hope to see them again soon with lots more adorable prints just like this one.

You know I like to revel in autumn, but it's ok to step back for a moment or two and do something else.  I just can't pause too long, because this lovely season is almost over.  What do you do when you need a little break?  Personally I try to work a little time off into everything I do.  If I don't I tend to go full speed until I burn-out and crash.

It's find to be energetic, excited, even passionate about things, but passion is a short-lived thing and I've learned to pace myself if I ever want to finish a project.  Recently I visited a beautiful little chapel which was built by a single man over the course of an entire decade.  He worked each weekend, slow and steady until it was completed.  

It is an immaculate sight to behold, but I don't know if I could have worked for so long on a project like that.  I wonder at the kind of personal discipline and persistence it must have taken for him to stay the course. With attention spans at an all time low, I think we could all learn a lesson from such a man.

I may not be in the place in life where I could invest an entire decade to a single project one weekend at a time, but I do find myself becoming more disciplined with how I spend my time and how to pace my enthusiasm.  I'd like to say it's a part of maturity, but as I know a great many older people who still run full steam until they're exhausted I tend to think it is more a part of practice than anything else.

As much as I enjoy autumn to the fullest in her season, I think it's ok to have it in moderation as well.  Which is partially why I don't eat something pumpkin spice flavored every single day.  And I don't feel the need to totally bombard you with a bazillion photos taken in beautifully colored leaves in all manner of rust and burgundy hued dresses.

So, enjoy the pastel pinks, blues, and teals for today.  But, *spoiler alert*, after today we're right back to colored leaves and autumn hued garments.  After all, we only get to do this once a year.

Shopping Info:  Dress from The Other Sparrows, Shrug from Collectif