The Journey Begins With a Single Step

It's all too common to say to someone just starting out, "You can do it; it'll all be ok in the end."  But when you're that person, life in ruins, cloud castle burnt to ashes and heart shattered to bits too small to reassemble, even one step on the road to recovery feels insurmountable let alone the millions it may take to get back to some semblance of normal.  If that's you, if you're standing at the beginning of this long journey, then just know that I and many others have been where you are and the best thing you can do right now is to take that step anyway.

A lot of well meaning people will try to encourage you with words of hope.  They'll say things like, "it's going to get better, you'll see."  Those words are so hollow in the aftermath of trauma, they may as well be saying, "after my pet pig prepares us an excellent chocolate soufflé, we'll hop on his back and fly to the moon for a little swimming and sunbathing."  In those moments, that probably sounds more plausible than, "you're going to be ok."

I won't promise you any of that.  I won't tell you it will all be Ok.  Not because it won't be ok in the end, but because "the end" is irrelevant to right now.  

My advice, as I look back on my own journey, still so fresh and raw and not nearly over, is that you only have today.  Don't look at five years from now, one year from now, don't even look at next week.  Just focus on today, on this step that you must take right now, and nothing more.  Don't think about building more castles in the sky, just focus on getting up out of the ashes of this one.

I've been on this road for nearly five years and I can finally look back and see how far I've come, but it took so many steps before I could even do that.  And there were so many days that I cried to my councilor and said, "I don't think I can do this and I don't think this is working."  In her wisdom drawn from her own experience she looked me in the eyes, put her hand on mine and said, "I know.  But, do it anyway."

So, I did.  Not just because she said so, but because what was the alternative?  I could keep going and maybe fail or I could stop right where I was and guarantee failure and that I would never heal.  The choice was simple.  Stand up and keep walking.

One day at a time.  One step at a time.  It doesn't sound like much, but it doesn't need to be at first.  It's enough to just have today and let tomorrow and all the steps that will come take care of themselves while you take care of you.

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